So that happened… (how to remember that you ARE successful when it sure doesn’t feel that way)

Ever had something just go horribly wrong and all you could think of was : “So… that just happened”?
Yup, check.

Feel like you’re stuck in a rut and not making any progress besides maybe deeper?
Raise your hand if you’re the Real Slim Shady.

Feel like Life has taken you down Shit Creek with only 1 paddle?
Glad I’m not the only one.

 

Why does it seem like attaining success is the greatest test and the journey is nothing more than an obstacle course? Throw in some crazy society standards, a dash of self esteem issues, a crazy work schedule, maybe a few kids, perhaps a boyfriend or husband, the need to eat (whether is cooked or picked up), a household to keep running, car(s) to keep running, shower to take… it all takes up time and it’s easy to feel like we’re just going through the daily grind. Success to us is to not leave the kid or the boyfriend/husband in the drive thru line somehow. Success to us is that you got a shower in today. #thestruggleisreal

 

Why does it feel like being successful is so much work? Why does failure seem so easy?

 

Sarah Morgan over at XO Sarah had some golden nuggets in one of her recent newsletters and I think it really puts things into perspective:

1. What you want to accomplish isn’t going to fit nicely into your current life.
2. Becoming really good at something takes thousands of hours of training/work/practice.

So whenever you feel like you’re not gaining any progress or that you just don’t get it or it’s taking too long, keep in mind these golden nuggets. Success is not something gained overnight. You don’t become a pro by doing it once or just taking a glance over it. Don’t beat yourself, you’ll just be harming yourself in the long run. It won’t always have to be this way. Sarah’s 2 liner really struck home to me. I even put it on a lime green sticky note and put it on my calendar to remind myself: Hey, the struggle is real, but it’s worth it. I’m worth it.

Hey, the struggle is real, but it’s worth it. I’m worth it. Click To Tweet

 

Just keep in mind that while you feel like you’re failing, you’re not.  Thomas Edison once said: “I have not failed 10,000 times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those 10,000 ways will not work. When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work.” It’s all about the mindset we get ourselves into. It’s super easy to get into a rut, but YOU have to be the one to get out of it. It’s not fun, it’s not easy, it’s work, but working on staying in a positive mindset beats living under a dark cloud everywhere you go right? Megan Kubasch over at The Haute Copy Co. and co-founder/host over at Shield Sisters Initiative has an awesome post about mindset called Mindset: What is is, How it Works, and How to Control it. She was on Facebook Live the other day and it was very inspiring to watch.

 

You determine your success, not someone else. It’s easy to give yourself standards and set high limits and if you don’t meet those, you tell yourself that you have failed. Let’s start at the beginning. You haven’t failed. You simply need to redefine what success is (check out my recent post about How to redefine Success). Now, I’m no pro, but allow me to send you someone who I believe GETS IT. She may seem a little excessive sometimes, but I never walk away without taking something away from her nor do I walk away feeling worse about a situation or about myself. There is no doubt that she has wisdom and definitely passion in her life.

 

*drum roll please*

*throw out the red carpet*

*open up the limo door*

And……………………………………………………….

 

Oprah.

 

Yup. Oprah.

I recently came across this video about her discussing how there is no such thing as failure.

Prepare to be inspired…
p.s. Sign up for my email list and I’ll send you the transcription for this video!

 

 

How was that?! This woman GETS IT. She narrows it down, almost psychologically why we feel like do and the root cause of it. And better yet, she has so much passion for it and seeing everyone succeed.

 

Do you need even more inspiration? Check out this post by Doug Sandler about Defeat and Victory.
Don’t you just love that word? Victory

Don’t you just love that word? Victory. Click To Tweet

 

Failure doesn’t exist. It’s just a word that was made up to be opposite. Just like dark is to light. Dark isn’t bad (who doesn’t love to sleep or see the stars and moon at night?), but if you stay in the dark too long, you adapt to it and that’s all you see after awhile. Not always being successful can be a good thing, sometimes you need a swift kick in the butt, you get you on the path you were meant for or for a dose of humility time to time. But just like darkness, if you stay there too long, that’s all you see is failure and then it becomes easy to stay in that mindset.

You know you are not defined by what somebody says is a failure for you because failure is just there to point you in a different direction. Click To Tweet

 

So now that you’re inspired, fired up and ready to go, now you have to decide to commit to it and stay committed. Here’s some ways to keep that fire going.

 

Ways to Remind yourself that you ARE successful

• Need help making or remembering your goals? Check out my post: It’s All About the Goals Baby
• Looking around for some guidance about what direction to take with your life? Check out my Direction post
• Remember the accomplishments you’ve made. Don’t undermine yourself! Some days are just gonna suck and you getting out of bed and moving when you don’t want to is an accomplishment itself!
• Remember to be grateful, even when you don’t want to or if it seems impossible. Even if its “my soda can didn’t explode while coming out of the machine today” or “I found a penny on the ground (a penny saved is a penny earned right?)
• Need help on keeping up the grateful life? Check out my post Gratitude Attitude and check out Wendy over at The Gratefulist
• Are you a visual person? Do you like motivational quotes or feel like you could use some to read every once in awhile? Check out my Pinterest boards, especially my Life is worth Living, Let’s Get Real and Generous, Giving, and Grateful boards for help in keeping that positive mindset
• Walk and talk with a friend. Sometimes you got to just let it out and have a helpful friend support you – whether it be encouraging or a swift kick in the butt to get you moving.
• Take some time to breathe. I know it sounds kinda lame, but if you’re not getting enough oxygen in, your brain and the rest of your body goes [further] into freak out mode.
• Do some [extra] self care stuff to get some of that ick off. It will help to refocus  and things may not seem that bad or at least you have a clean slate to work on bouncing back off of. Raewyn over at Be a Warrior Queen and Shield Sisters Initiative, Mary over at Uncustomary Art, Catherine over at The Blissful Mind, and Sarah  Steckler over at Mindful Productivity Blog are definitely good spots to check out. Both Raewyn and Mary have awesome journals/workbooks and the rest of the ladies have great posts and tips and tricks to make self love/self-care attainable and fun!

 

It is my wish that you define success YOUR way, without any forms of negativity attached to it. It’s easy to set up goals or resolutions or standards for ourselves and fall short for different reasons. Be like Thomas Edison and Oprah. They understood that failure is something not real. Things take time, we were meant for great things. Like they say, the journey is what matters the most.

 

 

Share with me your accomplishments, your gratitude and even your “failures.” Life sucks sometimes, there’s no away around that, but you never have to be alone to face it. We all need a friend, a form of support. Reach out to me, in the good or bad. Share your victories and your frustrations. I’m always reachable by email, Twitter, Pinterest, the Facebook Page and my new Facebook group/community, Shine Bright.

 

Let’s strive towards living lives with passion and purpose.

Shine Bright

<3 Jenn